Gentlemen, you all know that Valentine's day is in 7 days. Isn't love wonderful? I have a secret: If your significant other expects you to sit through a hackneyed Nicholas Sparks movie and spend an entire paycheck on a contrived dinner in a crowded place with lots of other couples there for obligation dates, she (or…
So after a teenage girl in a Kia Forte pulled out in front of me today, I discovered why the Accord needs a new horn or two. The nasal, high pitched, "WHEHHHH" is not that effective and makes me feel like a weenie.
I wonder what it would be like to fart through my penis.
Why do I want one of these so badly? It's almost an illness...
I can't lie. I want one of these — powered by an EJ22 that will gladly push it along forever with minimal maintenance.
*Bad taste alert*
The Doors' L.A. Woman gives a deep, dark determination and sense of urgency to driving at night. Turn it up, put the pedal down, and for just a moment you're totally free. You're Jim Fucking Morrison speeding into the desert in his GT500.
I realize that there's an entire generation of young drivers who probably think that Subaru is an Australian and not a Japanese company because of these ads.
So someone posted about a lighter a little while ago. Back when I was a philosophy student with more money than I should have had — I had a decent job and zero bills to pay — I smoked Nat Sherman Mint cigarettes ($3.00 a pack in the late 90s!) and would often finish the night with a pipe of Dunhill's 965.
My wife, after looking at our bank statements for the past 3 months, has told me "your old wagon has about $250 a month in maintenance costs and we're looking at tires next month and the valve adjustment and new belts soon. Can we just look at getting something newer? At this point a payment wouldn't be terribly bad…
If I had the mechanical ability, time, money, and engineering acumen, I would do something like this gentleman did to his camaro: http://jalopnik.com/5587454/this-is-not-photoshopped to a Ford GAA tank engine - and then I'd put it in a truck frame and build a double-sized '50 ford Gasser. Because if it's not…
Sometimes I believe that my brain is trying to punish me for something based on the songs that it starts to play in my head. Video fucking related.
A friend put this up on the bookface. Had to steal it and share with oppo
Frank Turner is a lyrical genius.
NCOCP damn I wish I was looking for a car today instead of 4 months ago edition: http://charlotte.craigslist.org/cto/3540962764.html
So, Oppo, I think I'm about to start a twitter feed and I'll only update it after each bowel movement. It'll be a brief description of the poo, along with its ranking on the Bristol Scale. I figure that most of Twitter is shit anyway — this just makes it literal.